Mindfulness Is For Everyone (Even people who hate meditation)

A practical guide to the skills that make mindfulness possible

My honest opinion is that mindfulness is both underrated and completely misunderstood. 

Underrated, probably because it is misunderstood.

Mindfulness is a key component of my therapy practice. It is at the core of effective skill application. So, I often start teaching mindfulness early on in my sessions. One of the first things I ask new clients is what comes to mind when I say mindfulness (it should come as no surprise that this word can be polarizing and turn people off very quickly). Most tell me “meditation.”

And a lot of people I have worked with REALLY dislike meditation!

But meditation is just one kind of mindfulness. It isn’t the definition of mindfulness. Not in my practice anyway.

I am DBT-oriented, which means I teach mindfulness through the What and the How skills, with the foundational understanding that we can do anything mindfully if we are intentional about What we are doing and How we are doing it. 

The Skills

The exact language for these skills differs depending on the age group I am working with, but the actual skill remains the same. 

What: Observe, Describe, Participate

Observe yourself; your emotions, body sensations, urges, thoughts. Observe your surroundings; what is happening, where you are, who you are with. Observe the sensory elements; colors, smells, textures, sounds, tastes, motion. Tune into the little details. 

Describe these experiences and observations; to yourself, to someone else, in a journal, out loud, silently. Use your best communication skills.

Participate in whatever you are presently doing. Give it your full attention and best effort. When your mind or attention wanders, gently redirect yourself back to the present task. Pay attention to what you are doing and experiencing moment to moment. Be there. Fully. 

How: Without Judgment, Stay Focused, Do What Works

Do your best to not pass judgment on these experiences. Allow yourself to just be. Just experience. When the mind chooses a judgmental word (“this is bad,” “I’m terrible at this,”) redirect and rephrase the thought. Gently. You are human! 

Do your best to maintain your attention and focus on the present moment. Practice noticing when your mind starts to drift and redirecting it.  

Do what works. This may take some trial and error (which means it is important to remember to practice nonjudgment). As you learn what is most effective, what methods work best, or simply what isn’t working at that moment, adjust accordingly. 

Mindfulness In Practice

Mindfulness is at the center of it all. So, let me show you what this might look like in practice. Try this little exercise with me. 

Think about your ideal morning. Mine is a quiet Fall morning, a little overcast outside, sweater weather, the smell of hot coffee emanating from an oversized mug. My feet are warmly tucked into snuggly socks and I am curled up in a fuzzy blanket on the couch with my dog. Colorful trees losing their leaves that now freckle the ground. Carved pumpkins, glossy apples, and spooky decorations lining the neighborhood houses. The smell of autumn breezing in through a cracked window. This is my ideal morning. Think of yours. And consider the little details you may sometimes overlook. Consider how pausing to tune in to that moment might make that experience even more enjoyable. Consider how pausing to take in those details might help you to capture that moment more clearly for the future when you wish to recall it again. 

That is mindfulness at work. 

Mindfulness exists in the day-to-day moments you are already living. It is simply the practice of being intentional about how you stay present and engaged. So the next time you find yourself in a moment that feels worth keeping (even if it is just a really good cup of coffee) pause and tune in. Mindfulness is always available to you. 

About The Author

Amanda Marshall, Ph.D., NCSP

Dr. Marshall is a licensed psychologist and certified school psychologist, and the founder of Inspire Psychology, a private psychology practice serving adolescents, adults, and families across New Jersey, New York, and PSYPACT participating jurisdictions. She specializes in neurodivergent experiences, executive functioning, learning differences, anxiety, depression, OCD, and life transitions. Her approach is grounded in acceptance — helping people understand their own minds with curiosity rather than judgment. If something here resonated, you can learn more or schedule a free 15-minute consultation at inspirepsycnj.com