Bridging the gap between dream and reality
A practical guide to getting there, one moment of bravery at a time
As a therapist, I often hear people talk about their dreams. The life they dream of having one day, if only…
You know the dream I’m talking about. The big one. The one that comes up in conversation and is immediately dismissed with a laugh because it’s just a dream.
Maybe you want to start a business. Run a 5K. Buy your first home. Travel abroad.
And there is a part of your mind that is adamant that it is simply NOT possible.
Most of us have one. A version of our lives that we dream about and wish was possible, but there is some sense of impossibility that prevents us from even considering taking steps towards making that dream a reality. Maybe we don’t believe we are capable (Am I really the kind of person who can make that happen?). Maybe we are just too comfortable with how life is right now (even if it isn’t what we want).
Or maybe, somewhere along the way, we just decided that this reality was impossible.
And we never got around to actually considering how we could make it a reality.
So the dream stays a dream. Safely locked away in our imagination. Safe from the test of reality. And we are protected from any risk of failure. Because we decided to never really try.
But that decision comes at a cost.
If we never try, we will never know what could have been.
Is it fear holding us back?
What do we do when we are afraid to take that first step?
First, we need to get specific.
What exactly is it that you want? When we keep it vague, it gives your mind too much freedom to make adjustments as you go. We become susceptible to moving the goalpost or adding limitations to what was once a robust dream. We step back into comfort and suddenly our goal barely resembles the original dream.
Write it out. Jot down a list of the specific elements of your goal, and then read it out loud to yourself to make it real.
Ask Yourself:
What would it look like if that was your reality right now?
How would your life be different?
Who would you be - what characteristics would you have, how would you describe the person you would have become?
What would it take to get there?
Get it out of your head and onto paper. A vague dream is easy to dismiss. A written, specific goal is something you can actually work with.
Second, break it down.
Take that large, overwhelming goal and break it down into smaller action steps. Yes, some of those steps will still feel scary. That’s ok! But when we break a big goal into smaller pieces, it starts to feel more manageable. We might even start to believe that it’s possible.
And let’s be realistic, not every step has to be available to you right now. Some will require resources that aren’t in place yet. That’s ok, too. Focus on what IS available to you today. If you’re struggling to find a single doable step, then it means we need to break things down even further. There is almost always something, however small, that can be done right now.
Looking at the steps, try to identify a timeframe for when you might be able to accomplish these steps. If you can’t tell for all of them, that’s ok! Try to focus on a timeframe for the most immediate steps to help hold yourself accountable.
Third, commit to action.
Choose an action step and plan a time to complete it. Try to align these planned action steps with your overall timeline. For example, if you want to run a 5k by next season, you can break down specific benchmarks for your training goals and specify days you will commit to training to make your desired progress within that timeframe.
Take a moment to anticipate any obstacles that might arise and plan ahead for how you will navigate them while remaining on track.
By making the decision ahead of time, you take the choice out of it when the moment arrives. You’ve already decided. So, all that is left…is action.
A Quick Tip
Remember that progress isn’t always linear. You will experience ups and downs. Good days and challenging days. On those days - you know, the ones where you feel like giving up, when you don’t see a path forward and think there’s no point in trying - remember to give yourself grace. Give yourself time. Allow yourself the space to move through the discomfort of trying something new. That discomfort isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s a reminder that this is real. You are actually doing the thing!
You don’t have to be fearless to move forward. You just have to be brave long enough to take the next small step.
About The Author
Amanda Marshall, Ph.D., NCSP
Dr. Marshall is a licensed psychologist and certified school psychologist, and the founder of Inspire Psychology, a private psychology practice serving adolescents, adults, and families across New Jersey, New York, and PSYPACT participating jurisdictions. She specializes in neurodivergent experiences, executive functioning, learning differences, anxiety, depression, OCD, and life transitions. Her approach is grounded in acceptance — helping people understand their own minds with curiosity rather than judgment. If something here resonated, you can learn more or schedule a free 15-minute consultation at inspirepsycnj.com
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